Forty-Five Lessons From a Christian Journey

I turned 45 last week. I haven’t posted on social media in a while - but I felt impressed to share 45 thoughts about some different things in life that I’ve learned/am learning along the way. Thanks to all those who wished me a happy birthday - it was a blessed day for a blessed man. Without further ado - and in no particular order - here they are:

1. Watch your diet, not food though - What you allow in your eyes and your ears affects your life for good or bad way more than food or drink. Be diligent and uncompromising about what you let into your eyes, ears, brain, heart and household. Especially for your children. This is one of our primary jobs as Godly parents. A steady diet of poison will lead to sickness, chaos, and death - this isn’t rocket science. The good news is that you can re-sensitize your Spirit to good and evil. Chances are, you might have developed a tolerance for poison that you need to get rid of. Over time, a good diet will train yourself to easily reject evil like a toxin rather than it being a temptation.

2. Money is the second most important thing in life behind our Fear of and Relationship with God - Men need to be positioning themselves with the end in mind. “Will the path I’m on allow me to provide for a wife and many children one day?” - I learned this too late in life. Start thinking this way now.

3. Marriage - Men were created , I was created, to need a wife. To need her companionship, her comfort, her confidence, her intimacy, her encouragement. I need her to challenge me to keep US going and growing. I need to protect her and provide for her and everything she needs to allow her to succeed to run a household and raise children. We need each other - but in different ways. She is my best friend and the one I truly want to spend all my time with and for. We take walks everyday and talk about life and the kids and our past and our future. I let her into what I’m thinking and feeling and share with her my visions and plans and things I hear the Lord telling me. I value her counsel and wisdom more than anyone else. We go out to eat once per week at a really nice restaurant and split a meal and some wine. We get some ice cream on the way home and go in our room and lock the door. It’s something we look forward to - every single week.

4. Home - We live in a nice big beautiful home , but it’s not ours. When we sold our home and moved here - we decided to rent. It’s been such a blessing living here - but we do want something of our own to establish real roots. Being self-employed with the roller coaster of income we’ve experienced over the last 5 years makes it tough to get a mortgage for the kind of house we would want. We can afford a nice monthly payment - but we need quite a bit of cash built up to get what we want. Thankfully we are building toward that goal - but as a man especially, it’s where I struggle the most with comparison and feelings of self worth. We are believing God for the perfect house for us and believe he has given us business that will produce fruit to get us there. Godly men want nothing more than to provide security and protection and some land for our family - I’m no different. I just want it NOW but I trust it’s coming. Still hard though.

5. Close your eyes at church during worship - Try it the entire time - and watch yourself enter into a level of intimate praise and communion you’ve never experienced before. We all deal with more fear of man than we realize. Shut your eyes and open your heart and be free. You’ll never want to worship any other way.

6. Worry - I worry way more than I want to admit. Part of what makes me good at my business is that I’m always thinking ahead of how a deal can go wrong - and I have contingency plans ready to go. The challenge is not to live in a worry state of mind. As one of my good friends and mentors told me - “Stop asking WHAT IF this or that goes wrong? And Start saying EVEN IF that deal falls through - God is good, He will provide, there will be more - KEEP MOVING FORWARD !

7. Food / Cooking - We’ve gotten so good at making meals that it’s hard for me to want to eat out any more. Start trying to make your own meals. I wish I would’ve experimented more way sooner, but I’m thankful we are here now. Your body and your bank account will thank you.

8. We walk at least 3 miles almost every day - I also do a simple weights workout (30 minutes) about 4 times per week. It’s not magic - it just takes time. We’ve been doing the same thing for a long time and I’ve never been in better shape in my life. Weight that stays off doesn’t come off quickly - but if you’ll just keep at it and make it a non-negotiable routine in your life, you will look in the mirror one day and go “Dang I look good!”

9. Tithing - I’ve heard people say it’s easier to tithe/give when you have very little. “Just wait ‘til you have to start writing those big checks - its way harder.” No sir, I’ve done both, and can definitely tell you which one I choose. Let me write those big checks all day long, in Jesus’ name!

10. Golf - Get your sons in golf at an early age. It’s such a great sport to learn. They can grow in it on their own - all while being outside. Invest in some lessons and watch them flourish. So much better than being addicted to video games or worse!

11. Roles at Home - Life is so much easier when you can settle into your roles at home. I do certain things and my wife does certain things and that allows us to focus and get really good at what we do! We are thriving at what we do!

12. Friends - As a married man you don’t need many. And you don’t need to be hanging out with them (i.e stealing time from your wife and children). They are deeper friends than that. I have two criteria for choosing friends: 1.) Godly, church going family men of good character AND 2.) If tragedy struck me - I could trust them to watch after my wife and kids, or put us up in a hotel or lend us $10k. That’s it. I have 4-5 friends - we all pray for each other and talk about things of the Lord. They are an incredible life hack. Dont be casual with it - choose wisely and invest.

13. Social Media and Marriage - I attribute our success and intimacy in marriage in large part to my wife’s non involvement in social media. I also don’t use it much - but I cant imagine trying to make a marriage work with a wife who is always on Instagram or TikTok. I believe we are going to one day discover how truly awful social media is for all of us - but especially our kids/teens. Social media should be illegal for anyone under 16.

14. Alcohol - I wasted too many years drinking way too much wine. I definitely used it to deal with anxiety/worry/stress/to check out. I was never much of a belligerent drunkard - but more of the kind of person who it would just put to sleep. I now actually enjoy wine once per week on date night with my wife. Use with discernment and always only for celebratory things rather than stressful things.

15. Phone Addiction - Am I? Are we? It’s so hard to set it down because I use it for work all the time. I definitely feel FOMO when I don’t have it - or I feel like I might miss an important call or text or email regarding our next real estate deal or to keep a deal from falling apart. I’m still learning how to have boundaries. I’ve recently started leaving it in the car for church and social events - and that has made SO much difference in being present!

16. Faith vs Presumption - sometimes we need to stay in the boat even though we don’t want to . Faith isn’t always stepping out of the boat. Sometimes faith is sticking it out through the storm until you get to shore. They key is discerning the difference, which isn’t always easy to do.

17. Make a move quick if the track you’re on isn’t leading where you want to go - Think about where you are heading and ask yourself - “Is this truly where I want to go?”. If not - change direction quickly.

18. Sparkling ice drinks - I've never been one to love drinking water, so these have filled that gap for me. I love almost all the flavors, there's no sugar and each one is only 5 calories. I drink them all day and at night.

19. Air roller tumbling barrel - I’ve just started working out on this for my spine and hip mobility. There are tons of different ways to stretch on these things. My quality of life as I age will largely be determined by how mobile/flexible I am. I’ve been using this for one month a couple of times a day, and I’ve never been more flexible in my life than now. Get you one.

20. Passion vs Something You’re Good At - Passions are for later. Find something you're good at and do that. If you're good at it, you'll get better at it and chances are people will pay you to do it. You can "follow your passions” when you have a few dollars in the bank and a reliable way to generate income doing something you're good at.

21. Cringe - I look back at my life and cringe a lot of the time. “I can't believe I thought I knew what I was talking about back then” - although it's not fun to cringe, I do think that if you can't look back at your life and cringe - then you didn't take enough risks. That fact should keep me humble in the current season of my life, knowing that I'm gonna look back on today and very likely will cringe again.

22. Reading Habits - The only thing that works for me to consistently read is to make it a part of my daily routine. I start my morning with one chapter of an interesting biography of a man who succeeded in life. I love true stories - and then I read the daily Bible for that day (which is an old testament section, the New Testament section, a Psalm and a Proverb). I finish the morning off with a Prayer written by someone long dead - and then I write out (and pray) a couple of prayers for others - and then a couple of prayers for us.

23. Was she raised right? - Godly young man, you need to listen to me. If you can find a wife that was raised right (in a Christian home with a Biblical worldview and strong family values) you will save yourself a lot of trouble down the road. Even if she isn't currently living up to what God's best intentions are, if she was raised right, she will return to that foundation. Yes, you’ll need to get to know her parents/family to determine this.

24. Alone time - although I love my wife and children more than anything, and they are the ones I choose to spend all my time with, I need my “alone” time. I work two days a week out of town and I crave the drive time. Time to think and talk to and hear from the Lord about what we are doing and where we are going. Guess its not really alone time.

25. Kids - Have many, you won’t regret it.

26. Masculinity - after 60+ years of feminist culture in every aspect of life, we are finally starting to see cracks in its stronghold. It won't be without a fight - but the future is masculine. Raise your sons and make your plans accordingly.

27. Spending money - we finally are learning how to live within our means. We've had such a wild ride regarding lifestyles and incomes - from the top to the bottom and everywhere in between - so it’s been a moving target. Still, we’ve known we are frivolous spenders and are changing that. The stat that changed my mind: to have $10,000 less at the end of the year - you only need to spend an extra $27.39 per day. Wow.

28. Starting a business from scratch is hard - It takes 10x the effort and time that you think to get momentum going - but it’s the most worthwhile thing I’ve ever done.

29. Things rarely work out like you think they will - But, they almost always work out. Take comfort in that.

30. Faith in God really seems to be patience with God - If you love Him - He’s working all things out for your good. He has never been as fast as I thought He should be. Not even close. Trusting God is being patient with God. We are patient with those we love.

31. You MUST Look back down the mountain at how far you’ve come - Really take time and re-count how you got to where you are. You’ll find that God answered way more prayers than you think. Allow that fact to get it into your soul that He in fact is faithful. It’s our main job to recognize and thank him for answered and unanswered prayer. Rinse and Repeat for Life.

32. Worshipping in times of lack vs abundance - If you can bring yourself to worship the Lord when times are tough, you will experience a new level of worship and intimacy when your breakthrough finally comes. He proves Himself faithful and your worship will reflect that. It’s a gift that will make you thank Him for the hard times.

33. Comparison - Comparison to an arbitrary standard of where you think you should be in life will destroy your peace and trust in the Lord. It’s a battle. But you must resist the temptation to compare. If you love and trust the Shepherd, he is taking you to the best place for you at the perfect time.

34. Rock bottom is closer to the Lord than it seems - It’s often where we first meet Him. Be thankful for those that hit rock bottom and are still alive. He will meet them there but never leave them there.

35. Naps - Take’em when you need’em and don’t apologize for it…ever.

36. Having kids at an older age is just fun - We are more mature and stable in the Lord, our marriage, and our parenting than when we had our first couple of children. Don’t let doctors scare ya. I highly recommend.

37. Honesty and transparency with people usually surprises them - It sets you apart and opens doors that otherwise stay shut.

38. Modern Medicine - I'm thankful for it, but the last couple of years have exposed the fact that we have blindly trusted everything we've been sold. The backlash many received for just asking questions, exposed the fact that we need to be even more discerning than we originally thought. God designed our bodies to heal themselves, I believe modern medicine can support that - but not replace it.

39. Staying Present - We have an enemy - and one of his main goals is to keep us from being present. He wants me regretting the past or fearing the future - but never wants me to be in the present. Why? Because the present is where our Father promises to be with us and give us everything we need.

40. Raising Sons - Our goal is to raise sons that you’ll want your daughters to marry. They will be taught to be providers, protectors, lovers, companions, wise and good fathers. They will be upstanding leaders in their church and community, Godly, full of integrity and character. God created them to need a good woman. They will be good men.

41. Raising Daughters - Our goal is to raise daughters that you’ll want your sons to marry. They are being taught how to run a household — from food and chores to finances and childrearing. They will be taught to be classy - not trashy - upstanding women who have high standards in looking for a good an honorable man to marry, serve, support and have many children. Your sons and your legacy will be blessed for generations.

42. Rest/Sabbath - I really want to learn how to do this. To TRULY REST is God’s design and I am depriving myself and his natural order if I dont rest. I’ve heard it said, “Those that work with their hands, need to Sabbath with their minds (read a book, journal, etc) and those that work with their minds , need to Sabbath with their hands (yard work, build something, exert yourself physically)”. This seems true and good to me. I’m still learning how to truly rest.

43. Homeschooling - Our goal is never to shelter our kids or to keep them in a bubble, oblivious and naive to the things in the world. But rather, WE want to be the ones to introduce them to things and WE will teach them, guide them, and instruct them about all the things when each is ready.

44. Risk - To get to where we are now, we went over a year with basically no income and no clear direction of what to do. I worked a job I didn’t want to do (HUMILITY) but it definitely wasn’t close to covering the bills. It was very tough - especially as as man. I’m eternally grateful for that season because it led us here - but even more grateful we are through it. DEAR GOD, THANK YOU WE ARE THROUGH THAT.

45. Legacy - My biggest goal in life - when I’m older - with my beautiful bride by my side - is to be surrounded by children and many grand children and many many great grand children, who all know the Lord. That’s it. That’s good enough. Nothing else really matters.

46. BONUS: God is real. He wants the best for you. Your worst day with Him is better than your best day without Him. Trust me - I’ve been everywhere else.

***Josh Littlejohn is a married, father of six. He is a real estate investor who does business in Arkansas and Oklahoma. If you are interested in learning more about his business or have an interest in growing your rental portfolio, you can contact him at joshmlittlejohn@gmail.com.